Hold the Mustard - 8 - Hold the Tartar Sauce

Molly and Kendall do a "Fish Sandwich Crawl" and review fish sandwiches from Culvers, Wendy's, Bojangles, White Castle, and Arby's.  Which fish is best?

Culver's

Wendy's

Bojangles

White Castle

Arby's

Hold the Mustard - 7 - Misadventures in Cooking

Kendall discusses some recent attempts at cooking.

Copycat Outback Steakhouse Recipe:

Ingredients:

• 5 tsp kosher salt
• 4 tsp paprika
• 2 tsp black pepper
• 1 tsp onion powder
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1 tsp cayenne pepper
• ½ tsp ground coriander
• ½ tsp turmeric

Transcript: 

Hello everyone and welcome to another Hold the Mustard, a podcast about food.

It's been a minute since I posted an episode, partially because I've had several ideas for episodes that didn't really pan out. For example, I was going to do an episode about fish called “Hold the tartar sauce,” but the guest I wanted fell through and I only got around to trying two or three different fast food fish sandwiches during Lent. Long story short there, Wendy's fish hasn't been the same since they changed to Alaskan Polloc instead of North Pacific Cod, McDonald's Fillet o Fish is the same as always, and White Castle did a surprisingly excellent Fish slider.

Anyway, over this time I've had a handful of misadventures in cooking that I'm going to discuss here.

First, we have Hormel's Cinnamon Toast Crunch Black Label Bacon. Depending who you ask, this is either something that is the most insane example of man's hubris ever seen in the breakfast meat section of the grocery or a perfectly normal thing. I've tried various candied bacons at Bob Evans and the like and they were never particularly great, but I do enjoy things with Cinnamon and my curiosity got the best of me. Also, my wife and I usually get our bacon in bulk from Costco, but we ran out and I didn't want to drive all the way out there.

Surprisingly, the cinnamon and sugar flavor on the bacon was pretty good. It was more cinnamon than sugar, and brought out a savory umami element. The only issue is that Hormel black label bacon isn't as good as the stuff we normally get from Costco. So after we worked our way through that pack of bacon, I decided to try and recreate it with the Costco bacon we normally get. I used a cinnamon sugar Mckormic mix that I use for cinnamon toast and flavoring my coffee. My first attempt was okay, but a little understated. Next I piled on the mixture to both sides of the bacon and ended up with a very sweet and a little bit cinnamon flavor that I liked, but I knew would be too sweet for Molly. Finally, I added some extra cinnamon to the mixture and hit the nail almost on the head. Molly liked it.

Staying in the world of breakfast, I recently saw the film night bitch, a film in which Amy Adams deals with the struggles of being a stay at home mom by transforming into a dog at night. Much of the film is tense and leans into sort of gross elements of raising a young child, but every morning, Amy Adams's character cooks frozen preformed hash browns on a cast iron pan in butter and makes them look amazing. So I decided to give it a try. I don't have cast iron, but I did try cooking frozen hash browns in a skillet in butter, crisco, and even bacon grease. I had some decent results, but honestly the best results came from following the instructions on the package and cooking them in the air fryer.

I love a good steak, whether it's cooked on a flat top grill at waffle house, a back yard grill at home, or whatever dark magic they use at an overpriced steak house. However, my favorite place to eat a steak, up until recently, was the Outback Steakhouse five minutes down the road from my house. It felt fancy, the service was great, pricing was reasonable, and I just loved the seasoning they used. Unfortunately, they closed permanently at the beginning of June.

Sure, I could drive an extra 15 minutes to get to the next closest Outback, but who knows if it would be the same. So of course, I googled “copycat Outback Steakhouse Seasoning.” The first recipe, which I will include in the show notes included:

kosher salt, paprika, black pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, cayenne pepper, ground coriander, turmeric. I only had about half of those in my spice cabinet, so one $20 amazon order later I was ready.

I've been honing my steak skills for many years. I'm still not an expert, but I do okay. First, I use a good cut of meat. Costco often has deals on sirloins or ribeyes in big packs. I get the giant pack, wrap each steak individually in plastic wrap, throw them in a zip lock bag, and freeze them. I heard somewhere that plastic wrap and zip lock bags each have different ways that air escapes, so using both prevents freezer burn. It seems to work okay, because sometimes steaks will live there for months before I'm ready to thaw them.

Once my steak was thawed in the fridge for about 24 hours, I added the seasoning. It had a strong scent that smelled almost entirely unlike Outback Steakhouse, but I went for it anyway, generously applying it to the steak as well as a random chicken breast I had leftover from a soup I'd made earlier in the week. Finally, I threw it on the grill and hoped it would be good.

Once the steak was solidly Medium to Medium Well, I pulled it off and the smell was exactly like Outback Steakhouse. The only difference was that I was using a better cut of beef, so it was extra tender. Now I just need to figure out how to make a Bloomin' Onion at home.

Finally, what you've all been waiting for, a segment on Hot Dogs. There was recently a viral video going around full of some wild hot dog hacks. A few of them fascinated me and I tried them out to varying amounts of success.

First, I tried an elevated version of Pigs in a Blanket. Essentially, you impale the hot dog long ways on a skewer and cut it in a spiral. This allows you to stretch it out to about double its normal length. I used bun length Hebrew Nationals, but would probably just normal length dogs in the future to make them easier to stab. I also did two with full hot dogs and two with the dogs cut in half. I'll probably sitck to the half dogs in the future for the same reason. Once I had the dogs on the sticks, I grilled them up nice and brown. Finally, once they cooled a bit, I took a can of biscuit dough, rolled it into a little snake, and filled in the gaps on the spiral dog. After about 8 minutes in the oven, they came out as a really neat savory snack.

Next, something a little more basic. My version of New York dirty water hot dogs. I took a foil insert pan and added onion, mushroom, jalapeno pepper, a little butter, chicken broth, and sauerkraut. Then I threw some natural casing hot dogs on the grill along with the pan. Once the dogs were nice and brown, I finished them off in the pan. Next time I'll probably use more sauerkraut and skip the broth and peppers, but in general they turned out pretty good.

And finally, the guy in the video made the most on brand concoction for a guy like me. He made a hot dog chili chili dog. In other words, he made chili with chopped up hot dogs instead of ground beef. According to his description, the smokey flavor in the hot dog puree made for an interesting chili flavor.

So I chopped up my leftover hot dogs from the previous two adventures and browned them before adding liquid, tomatoes, a jalapeno, and Kinder's Chili seasoning. Here's where I made my big mistake. I thought the full packet might over season the meat, since I wasn't using beans, so I tasted it after using a little more than half. It tasted a little bland, so I figured I would be good adding the rest. Nope. It didn't occur to me that as the chili cooked there would be less liquid to dilute the seasoning. It also didn't occur to me that the hot dog chunks wouldn't absorb the seasoning as well as ground beef. This made the chili itself pretty much completely inedible.

At least on the chili dog, the flavor was cut a bit by that of the hot dog and the massive amounts of cheese on top, but even then it was not as good as if I'd just made it with ground beef. To the extent that the hot dog meat added a smokey flavor, it tasted more like fake smoke and was really a net negative to the experience.

The thing about hot dogs is that a lot of people overthink them. They put a hundred different condiments or try to hack them and elevate them to be something they're not. Really, hot dogs are perfect just the way they are. If you like them with ketchup or relish or sauerkraut, that's great. If you prefer a simple chili either sweet like they have in Cincinatti or savory like they have in Detroit, that's great too. Even if you prefer a blackened sausage cooked over a campfire, it's perfect because that's the way you've always liked it since you were a kid. Just remember to hold the mustard. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time.

2024 Year End Zoom Orphan Special

 

A quick and dirty collection of segments that were recorded on my portable Zoom recorder

Here's the episode!

Hold The Mustard - 6 - Summer 2024

 

A podcast in 3 segments:

1.  Kendall Reviews 3 hot dog places in Huntington West Virginia.

2.  Kendall interviews Rae Walseth about vegan cooking

Vegan Pancakes:

Ingredients 

1 cup Flour

1 tbsp Sugar

1 tbsp Baking Powder

1 pinch Salt

3 tbsp Vegetable Oil

1 Cup Plant Milk (Soy, Almond, Oat, etc.)

Optional: vanilla extract, blueberries, chocolate chips, apparently raisins, etc.

Directions 

Combine dry ingredients in a bowl. Add vegetable oil and plant milk and mix until just combined (batter may be lumpy). Pour batter onto non-stick or greased skillet and cook over medium-low heat for a couple of minutes (until there are lots of bubbles and the edges firm up). Flip and cook for another minute or two until cooked through. Serve hot with your favorite toppings, or freeze to enjoy later. 

Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies:

Ingredients 

2 1/4 cups Flour

1 tsp Baking Soda

1 tsp Salt

1/2 cup (1 stick) vegan butter (I like Country Crock Plant Butter)

1/2 cup Crisco

3/4 cup Sugar

3/4 cup Brown Sugar

1 tsp Vanilla Extract 

2 Vegan Eggs (I like Bob’s Red Mill Vegan Egg)

1-2 cups Vegan Chocolate Chips (I like Enjoy Life semi sweet mini morsels)

Optional: walnuts, pecans, coconut flakes, rolled oats, etc. 

Directions

Preheat oven to 375°F. 

Combine dry flour, baking soda, and salt in a bowl. In another bowl (or a stand mixer), add vegan butter, crisco, sugar, and brown sugar and beat until creamy. Add in vanilla and vegan eggs and beat until well combined. Gradually mix in dry ingredients. Stir in chocolate chips. Drop rounded spoonfuls onto a baking sheet and bake for 9-11 minutes. Allow to cool on the pan for a couple of minutes before removing to wire racks to cool completely. 

Vegan Kringla:

Ingredients 

1/2 cup Sugar 

1/2 cup Vegan Butter (I like Country Crock Plant Butter)

1 Vegan Egg (I like to use 3 tbsp aquafaba)

1 cup Vegan Sour Cream (I like Tofutti)

1/2 tsp Salt

1/2 tsp Baking Soda

2 tsp Baking Powder

1 tsp Vanilla Extract

2 1/4 cups Flour

Directions

Preheat oven to 375°F. 

Cream together sugar and vegan butter. Add vegan egg and sour cream and combine. Sift in dry ingredients and mix until well combined. Refrigerate dough for several hours or overnight. Using a walnut sized ball of dough (about 1 oz), roll onto a floured surface (I like to use a Bethany board with a floured Bethany cloth) to the size of a wooden pencil about 7” long. Form into a figure 8, lightly pressing the ends together. Bake for 8-10 minutes. Be careful, do not over bake! They will only be lightly golden brown on the bottom. Transfer to cool completely on a wire rack. 

3.  Kendall and Molly review Crumbl cookies

Here's the episode! 

Hold the Mustard - 5 - Pizza

 

I have a conversation with Greg Shaw about Pizza

Here's that 1 hour pizza recipe

Here's the episode!

Hold the Mustard - 4 - Comfort Food with Josh and Judy

 

Today's episode is about comfort foods.  Josh Scott talks about a crockpot chicken recipe.  Judy talks about her home made noodles.  And I talk about Tuna Potato Chip Casserole.

Josh originally found the chicken recipe here.

Judy uses the Fanny Farmer Cookbook as a reference for her noodles

My Tuna Potato Chip Casserole:

Preheat your oven to 350. Mix a can of cream of mushroom soup with a can of tuna(drained). In a casserole dish, layer potato chips(usually Lays style, but Kettle Chips will do if you want to be fancy) and the tuna/soup mixture until you use up all the mixture and have the top layer of chips. Then cook for about 30 minutes or however long it takes to get warm and golden brown on top. If you really like mushrooms, you can also add a can of mushrooms to the mixture. Trust me, it's amazing.

Here's the episode!

Hold the Mustard - 3 - Chili

 

This month, we talk about Chili.

Kendall's Chili Recipe:

Start with a Packet of Kinders Chili Seasoning. Obviously you could use other seasoning or actually add chili powder and the 37 other spices peopleuse, but I've had a lot of luck with Kinders products and the chili seasoning is no exception

1 lb Beef

1/2 lb Sausage

Beer(I used 8 oz 3 Floyd's Momoko Stout that had been in my fridge for 4 months. I would probably use less and/or a weaker beer in the future)

1 jalepeno

1 Poblano

1 Onion

1 can black beens

Most of a bag of corn

1 can tomato paste(I learned from The Bear that the small cans taste better)

1 can diced tomatos

I browned the beef and fresh vegetables, added the Chili packet and the wet/canned ingredients and simmered for 90 minutes.

Here's the episode!

Hold The Mustard - 2 - Hot Dogs Part 2

 

A follow up to my original hot dog special, and hopefully the next in a series of shows about food.  I discuss small town drive ins, hot dogs at chain restaurants, and the best hot dogs I've ever had.

Here's the episode!

Here's a link to the original special!